Step 10: Slander
“A charitable and sensible mind takes careful note of
the virtues it observes in another, while the fool goes looking for faults and
defects. It is of such a one that it was
said, ‘They have searched out iniquity and died in the search (Ps. 63:7).’”
--St.
John Climacus
“Stop judging, that you may not be judged.”
--Matthew 7:1
The legal definition of
slander is to say something untrue about someone that is defamatory or damaging
to that person’s reputation. St. John
John calls slander the child
of hatred. Passing judgments and
gossiping is also born out of our insecurity concerning our own
sinfulness. It draws our attention away
from our own shortcomings and puts the spotlight on others.
Seeing only the bad in others
and taking pleasure in making it public is a symptom of a soul that is not
oriented toward God. If our goal is to
become holy, it is much more useful to look for the good in people and to
celebrate and encourage it. Not that we
should ignore sin in ourselves or in others.
But helping another deal with their sins is a very tricky business If it must be done, it’s best done by
invitation and in private and with the deepest humility, recognizing that I
have as much need of God’s grace and forgiveness as anyone else.
When God looks at us he does
not see vice-ridden evil-doers. He sees
his beloved children trying to find their way home. Let’s do all we can to help each other get
there. Our words have the power to heal
and strengthen. They also have the power
to destroy. Let us choose our words
carefully.
Prayer:
O God, help us to keep watch over our words. Help us to build each other up with words of
encouragement and compassion. Keep us
mindful of our own need of your mercy so that we might be more charitable
toward others and help us to see and celebrate the good in each other, through
Christ our Lord. Amen.
St. John Climacus, pray for us.
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