Step 13: Despondency

“Tedium reminds those at prayer of some job to be done, and in her brutish way she searches out any plausible excuse to drag us from prayer, as though with some kind of halter.”

--St. John Climacus

“Persevere in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.”

--Colossians 4:2

Ancient spiritual writers like St. John Climacus had a lot to say about a temptation that they called akidia.  It’s that feeling of lethargy or listlessness that sometimes comes over us when we try to maintain a disciplined prayer life.  Most of us go through periods when we wonder if there is any point to praying.  We might not feel like we’re “getting anything out of it,” or we may not see any visible answers to our prayers and we might wonder if we shouldn’t find a more productive use of our time.

Climacus has a couple of suggestions for dealing with these spiritual dry spells.  One is to remember that we are under orders.  We don’t pray because it makes us feel good, although it often does.  And we may pray for years without seeing any tangible results.  That’s OK.  We pray first of all because God commands us to.  It helps to remember that even if we don’t feel that we are being effective in prayer, we are at least being faithful to our calling as Christians.  That’s the most important thing anyway.

Another way to fight this roadblock to prayer is to confess it and try to move on.  Make your difficulty with prayer an object of prayer.  Examine it.  Ask God to help you find the cause of it and deal with it.  Maybe you’re trying to pray at a time or place that isn’t good for you.  Maybe there’s a topic you need to talk to God about, but you’re trying to avoid it.  Confront your reluctance to pray and then move on.  Don’t let yourself get stuck in it.

Finally, Climacus recommends making yourself accountable to another person or persons about your prayer life.  Find a spiritual director.  Make a prayer covenant with a friend.  Join a prayer group.  It’s easier to pray with others to encourage us and hold us to our commitments.  You can push through this.  Just do it!

Prayer:

O God, help us to pray when our hearts aren’t in it.  When the flame of our enthusiasm has almost gone out, help us to persevere.  Help us to remember that water never tastes so good as when we are thirsty.  May our spiritual dry times make us look even more diligently for the springs of living water which you give through Christ our Lord.  Amen.

St. John Climacus, pray for us.