Step 8: Placidity and Meekness

“Meekness is a permanent condition of the soul which remains unaffected by whether or not it is spoken well of, whether or not it is honored or praised.  The first step toward freedom from anger is to keep the lips silent when the heart is stirred; the next, to keep the thoughts silent when the soul is upset; the last, to be totally calm when unclean winds are blowing.”

--St. John Climacus

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  Not as the world gives do I give it to you.  Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.”

--John 14:27

Much has been said and written about the necessity of expressing our emotions in order to be psychologically healthy.  I believe that’s very true.  Being honest and open with ourselves and others about the way we feel is very important, not just for our individual well-being, but for healthy relationships as well.  There is a danger, however in allowing our emotions to run completely unchecked.

You may know someone who always seems to be angry, always at a low boil, the kind of person you have to tip-toe around and are afraid of setting off.  Or you may know someone who is a perpetual downer, embittered toward the world, who never seems to see the good in life or someone who is always afraid and anxious.  All of us from time to time can become trapped in our feelings, able to see our circumstances through only one set of emotional lenses.

These emotional cul-de-sacs can be detrimental to our spiritual lives.  One of the emotional dead ends that The Ladder is particularly concerned with is anger.  John describes how a flash of hot temper can set us back and undo whatever spiritual growth we may have attained.  Anger in and of itself is neither right nor wrong.  Like all emotions it simply is.  What we do with our anger is what makes it right or wrong.  Anger managed in one way may inspire us to address injustices and confront evil.  Handled in another way it may sour us on life.  We all need to learn how to manage our anger.

The real problem is not just anger, but anger as a way of life.  The first step to finding emotional equilibrium is to acknowledge our anger and examine it carefully.  Talking about anger as an illness, St. John says, “I would propose that each sick man should very carefully look for his own particular cure, and the first step here is the diagnosis of the cause of the disease.”  Why am I angry?  Is it something inside of me or outside of me that is the source?  Is there something about myself that I am unhappy with or am I frustrated with another person?  Is the source of my anger something I can control or not?  If so, what can I change?  If not, how can I come to terms with it?   What can I learn about myself and about God from the situations that make me angry?

Asking these questions prayerfully, in the presence of God, can help not only to defuse our anger, but also to further our conversation with God and open up more of our lives to his healing and leading.

Prayer:

O God, pour out your peace upon us and quench the fires of rage and bitterness that threaten to steal our joy and consume us.  Help us to open our hearts to you, examining our emotions in the light of your love so that we may not be ruled by them, but by your Spirit, through Christ our Lord, Amen.

St. John Climacus, pray for us.