Step 9: Remembrance of Wrongs

“Remembrance of wrongs comes as the final point of anger.  It is a keeper of sins.  It hates a just way of life.  It is the ruin of virtues, the poison of the soul, a worm in the mind.  It is the shame of prayer, a cutting off of supplication, a turning away from love, a nail piercing the soul.”

--St. John Climacus

“If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.”

--Matthew 6:14-15

The word, “grudge” is one of those words that achieves a good match between sound and meaning.  “Grudge” is an ugly, heavy, brutish sounding word.  It would make a good name for a troll in a fairytale. Bearing a grudge is an equally ugly, heavy and brutish thing to do.  Few attitudes are as destructive as carrying around with us the bitter memories of the wrongs we have suffered.

Hatred of those who have wronged us is very dangerous, because it is very easy to justify.  It’s also dangerous because imagining our revenge can seem very satisfying.  Climacus describes it as “a pleasureless feeling cherished in the sweetness of bitterness.”  But justified or not, sweet-tasting or not, it is still hatred and hatred deforms the image of God within us.

The image of God is revealed in Christ.  It is an image of gentleness, patience and unrelenting love.  Climacus recommends contemplating Christ’s refusal to bear malice toward those who inflicted suffering upon him as a cure for the corrosive effects of malice on our own souls.  He also recommends praying for those who have wronged us.  Even if our prayers are not exactly fervent and heart-felt at first, prayer changes us, and it is difficult for hate to flourish in an atmosphere of prayer.

As Jesus reminds us in the passage above from Matthew’s Gospel, every opportunity we take to practice forgiveness toward others is an opportunity for us to experience the forgiveness of God toward us.

Prayer:

O God, forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, through Christ our Lord.  Amen.

St. John Climacus, pray for us.