Step 11: Talkativeness and Silence

“The man who recognizes his sins has taken control of his tongue, while the chatterer has yet to discover himself as he should”

--St. John Climacus

“Know this, my dear brothers: everyone should be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”

--James 1:19

There are few things that I enjoy more than a good conversation.  I am blest to know some very interesting people and good conversationalists.  Some think that having a good conversation means keeping the words flowing and the best conversationalist is the one who can keep talking, but in my experience it is often the person who has the least to say who is most worth listening to.

Real communication can only happen if we occasionally stop talking and listen. This is the case if we want to get to know another human being, if we want to get know ourselves, and if we want to get to know God.  One cannot really talk and listen at the same time.

Being quiet and really listening is a challenge.  It takes concentration and courage.  It takes concentration because listening is more that just hearing, it’s engagement with another person’s ideas and feelings.  It takes courage because that engagement often calls our own ideas into question and places the needs and desires of others alongside our own.

When I stop talking and listen to my fellow human beings they stop being strangers and start becoming sisters.  When I quiet the hum rattling around in my skull and try to listen to my deepest self, I may discover that I am a different person than I thought I was.  When prayer becomes listening to God as well as talking to him, I may finally find the purpose and the peace I’ve been looking for.

Prayer:

O God, speak for your servant is listening.  Amen.

St. John Climacus, pray for us.